


Granting Wishes

by sleepysweaters



Category: IT (2017), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Break Up, Forbidden Love, M/M, Unrequited Love, give bill love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-09
Updated: 2018-02-09
Packaged: 2019-03-15 17:52:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,067
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13618572
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sleepysweaters/pseuds/sleepysweaters
Summary: He was loved back by someone whom he desired, but couldn’t have. If the world actually granted wishes, then he'd have the boy he longed for.The world didn't grant wishes and Bill had to accept that he wouldn’t get his happy ending.  Instead he would be granted with tear stained cheeks and a boy who no longer loved him holding him





	Granting Wishes

The world seemed to crumble around the two, but it wasn’t in the way it had been expected to be. Eddie stared at Bill, but Bill stared at his boyfriend Stan. There was a nudge at the small boy’s shoulder and he looked up to see Richie smiling at him, but it tore at his heart instead of making it grow.

Eddie knew it wasn’t okay to be in love with someone else, but here he sat next to his boyfriend while all he wanted was Bill. He didn’t know when the admiration started, but he assumed around the same time Stan began to do the same as well. He noticed the curly haired boy watch Richie from afar, even if he would deny the claim.

“Hey, Eds, you there?” Richie asked and Eddie looked up at him once again and blinked a couple times. He had been lost in thought and didn’t remember where he was for a moment.

“Yeah, I’m just fine. You know me, sometimes I just get distracted.” The claim was true, but part of the brunette felt like he was lying in a way. Why he was lying wasn’t something he knew.

After dating Richie for three years, everything felt dull. It was hard to leave someone who seemed to still have the enormous spark for you as they had in the beginning. Eddie just felt as if he was forced to love Richie, and it wasn’t that he didn’t love the other; it just wasn’t in the way everyone thought. He wasn’t in love with his best friend in the way the other wanted him to be.

“You guys ready for some scary stories?” Bill asked, causing Eddie to smile at the improvement the other had made with his stutter. It was sophomore year in college, and after years of therapy; Bill didn’t have such a hard time speaking in front of people.

“You have any good ones, Big Bill?” Richie questioned and Eddie rolled his eyes at the old nickname. It was amusing to hear come from his boyfriend’s mouth after all these years. Sometimes everything was amusing to hear whenever it came out of Richie’s mouth.

The rest of the night went on with scary stories from Bill and dumb remarks from Richie. It all felt so normal, and Eddie didn’t know how to feel about it. He felt like he was back in high school again, but he wasn’t madly in love with Richie anymore. Now he admired a boy who wouldn’t see him in the light he wanted to be seen in.

“We better get going to sleep,” Bev yawned out and Ben nodded in agreement as the two walked over to their tent. Richie snickered, but kept his thoughts to himself. That was also different from high school; Richie slowly learning how to control his mouth.

“I’m going to go as well, are you coming, Bill?” Stan asked and the auburn boy shook his head no. He had a distant look in his eye as he stared at the fire, and Eddie wanted to travel inside his mind to know what he thought about.

“Come on, Eddie, let’s get some shut eye,” Richie said and Eddie shook his head no. He saw something in the fire as well, but he wasn’t sure what. Maybe it was the same thing Bill saw, but the brunette doubted it.

“I think I’m going to stay up a little bit longer. I’m just not tired yet,” Eddie confessed and Richie shrugged before going to his tent as Stan did the same. The two boys were the only ones left, just entranced by the fire.

“I no-no-notice when you stare at me,” Bill stated, and Eddie continued to look into the fire while he felt Bill’s gaze burn upon his skin.

“Does it bother you? Or are you just making an observation?” Eddie inquired and Bill wasn’t sure what to say, it was easy to see on his face. 

Bill didn’t have a way with words when it came to speaking, but with writing it was different. He couldn’t just write out all the questions he had in that moment, but he also couldn’t ask them. Thoughts roamed his brain without end, and the never ending movement made him feel dizzy.

“You know it’s hard being stuck in a place that no longer seems like home. Whenever you wake up and there’s someone next to you that isn’t familiar anymore,” Eddie started. His eyes never left the dancing flames and Bill continued to stare at him.

“Eddie.”

“You’ve somehow fallen in love with a person you don’t even know, so are you truly in love? Do you actually love the person who wakes up next to you and speaks about marriage?” Eddie wondered aloud and Bill snapped his fingers in attempt to get the boy’s attention.

“Eddie, listen to me,” Bill demanded, but to no avail as the brunette continued.

“You smile every single day and tell him you love him, but it’s not the same as how he loves you. It’s not the same as how you love someone else, and god you begin to hate yourself for that,” Eddie cried as his face fell into his hands. Here he sat, staring at the fire burn away as he confessed how he truly felt.

Bill’s hands gripped Eddie’s shoulders, and finally the two made eye contact. The bright blue eyed boy had a hard gaze towards the brunette, and Eddie looked away as tears fell down his soft cheeks. He didn’t want to see Bill standing there, all concerned for him. All he wanted was to be alone, and he wasn’t granted that.

Eddie knew he wanted more than to just be alone, but he didn’t know what he wanted. He wasn’t even sure if he wanted Bill, and he was fairly certain he was in love with the boy. He looked back up to see Bill still staring at him, but the hands on his shoulders were gone. Now the auburn boy sat next to Eddie on the old log.

“What’s going on?” Bill asked, and Eddie didn’t know where to start. 

Should he start with whenever he felt like he was being forced to date Richie during the end of freshman year of college? Or should he start with how he felt about the way Bill looked at him? He could also start with how he knew he fell in love with Bill.

“I don’t even know anymore, it’s all one giant shit show,” Eddie stated before leaning into Bill’s side. The contact brought him back to the campsite, but it also harmed him at the same time. It reminded him of how close Richie and Stan were from the campfire. It reminded him about how much he really wanted to kiss Bill.

“Do you even love Richie anymore?”

Eddie stopped breathing at the question. Was he supposed to confess the truth? How do you even tell someone you stopped loving your boyfriend because you fell in love with someone else?

“Of course he does,“ Richie said as he grabbed Eddie’s arm to pull him up and next to him. The brunette looked frightened and desperate, but Bill did nothing to save him. All the auburn boy did was nod in understanding and watched the brunette being dragged away.

Things were finally falling in place for Bill. It was obvious Eddie had fallen out of love, but Richie was still madly in love. Bill sat in Eddie’s position, but Stan didn’t love him anymore. He knew Stan didn’t have a reason to love him anymore, and he also knew his boyfriend fell in love with Richie Tozier.

Although Richie was becoming the center of all his problems, Bill didn’t hold anything against him. There was an understanding of how things were, and it was known that Bill wouldn’t get his way in this fight. His hopes were high whenever Eddie confessed he no longer loved Richie, but they were shattered once Richie came to retrieve his boyfriend.

"What are you thinking about?” Stan asked as he sat across from the dying fire. Bill chuckled since the fire was representing his feelings towards Stan.

“Everything,” Bill told his boyfriend truthfully, because every single detail was on his mind. He knew deep down that only Beverly and Ben would survive all of this, but he didn’t want to admit that. He wanted to hold on to whatever he had left with Stan until he could grab Eddie away from Richie.

“That’s a very broad subject,” Stan observed and Bill hated when he did that. He hated when Stan acted like he knew everything going through Bill’s mind, but how could he? 

How could he know anything about Bill? The frustrated boy wasn’t thinking like anyone else did, but in his own way. Did he know about Bill not being in love with him? Is that why he said that?

“Well I like to think in broad terms,” Bill retorted and didn’t know why he felt like Stan snapped at him. He didn’t know he was feeling so irritable.

“Bill, it’s okay to not love me,” Stan said and Bill started to cry at the words. How on earth did Stan always know things? The auburn boy was frustrated with himself, and it probably wasn’t healthy due to the extent that it was at.

He cried into Stan’s shoulder and continued to cry as they went back to their shared tent. They still slept next to one another and Bill didn’t know how Stan was doing it. He didn’t know how the curly haired boy could handle his boyfriend not being in love with him.

“I don’t love you like that either,” Stan whispered, breaking the silence the two had slowly created. Bill felt himself tense up at the words because Stan was currently spooning him as he said so.

“Ya-y-you don’t?” Bill questioned as he wiggled around to look at the other and Stan shook his head no. It wasn’t that Bill was upset, but he was in a way. He was upset in the way of how they both had been holding on when there hadn’t been a reason to.

“Richie isn’t going to let go of him, and I hope you know that. He won’t let go of him until Eddie tells him it’s time to let go,” Stan informed the other, his voice was soft and calming for Bill to listen to.

“I know. I’ve always known,” Bill told him, almost like he was reassuring his mother of knowing the consequences he would face soon enough. Pain always came with things like this, but Bill didn’t know if he cared really in this moment.

Stan placed a kiss on the other’s lips, and they both knew it would be the last one to occur. The pit of guilt built up within Bill’s stomach and he started to cry again. All Stan could do was wipe the tears away in motions of six. If it wasn’t six, then it wasn’t perfect.

“I love you,” Bill said, but this time it wasn’t in a way where he felt like he was lying. He loved his best friend in the way you should love your best friend, and he knew Stan loved him the same. Even though the Jewish boy never said it back due to falling asleep, Bill knew he was loved back platonically.

He also knew that love wasn’t cut out for him. He always fell in love with the wrong people at the wrong time, and he wanted to know why it occurred as so. He wanted to know how to find a love where there weren’t problems like boyfriends or unrequited feelings in the way.

Eddie loved him back, and that was the very problem to Bill’s case. He was loved back by someone whom he desired, but couldn’t have. If the world actually granted wishes, then Richie would fall in love with Stan while Eddie went to Bill. The world didn’t grant wishes, and Richie wasn’t going to fall in love with Stan; Eddie wouldn’t get to be with Bill.

The world wasn’t fair and Bill had to accept that he wouldn’t get his happy ending. Instead he would be granted with tear stained cheeks and a boy who no longer loved him holding him.


End file.
